In the Gardens
by Lia Ex Machina
Summary: Firesong and Elspeth take a walk in the Queen's Garden. Elspeth is annoyed. Firesong isn't helping. Sequel to "In the Salle".


Disclaimer: I don't own Elspeth/Firesong/Selenay/Kerowyn/Darkwind/Astera/whoever. I don't own canon!Velgarth or anything/one/place in it. I own only Givyr (_damnfool Bard_) and his songs. That's all. Nothing Misty Lackey owns. Misty's is Misty's; Lia's is Lia's.

Author's Note: Ask and ye shall receive. Took my time, didn't I? ::ducks barrage of rotten vegetables:: Dead writers can't type. Have mercy on me, m'reader, and remember to review. Dedicated to Cynic for my one flame that filled the requirements. Many thanks to all you wonderful reviewer-people.

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In the Gardens 

"I need you to help me."

Firesong looked up from what he was doing. "What's it _this_ time, Elspeth? Lytha decided your hair makes a good ornament? One of Aya's feathers set your rooms on fire? Treyvan finally broke down and killed Vree, and I have to go explain it?"

"My hair is intact, my rooms are _stone_, and Vree stopped chasing feathers. The Bards have got ahold of some of my more…interesting…escapades. Did k'Treva have Bards?"

"No, and I thank the Star-Eyed _every _day for that fact. What happened, one of them has a soppy love ballad out? If they do, I LAUGH IN YOUR FACE! HA! HA! HA! I'M SO CONTROVERSIAL THAT I NEVER GET THEM!"

She raised one eyebrow. "And here I was, thinking you didn't hold with stimulants. _What_ are you **chewing**?"

"I was on foxglove, but that was six months ago. Nothing now, I just felt like saying that."

"Good. I didn't want to drag you to the Healers. Now **come with me**," Elspeth said, seizing the Healing Adept's wrist and dragging him behind her.

"I feel an urge to paraphrase annoying songs. _Elspeth, Elspeth, where are you going_?" Firesong's foxglove had apparently yet to wear off.

"The Queen's Garden." It appeared, however, that the Herald-Mage was _not_ amused.

"The tiny dogs will faint at the sight of us, and then the girls will get hysterical. We may be related to Vanyel, but I can't play the lute. You know, you should have learned. It would have made Hardorn more interesting." 

Elspeth ground her teeth. "I know how to. **Badly**. Your ears would have bled, and then you would have complained about your ruined hat."

"What's the Bard singing about, anyway? Ooh, is it three songs? I _love_ those little trilogies. One about Hardorn, one about you Gating in with everyone, and a ballad. Am I right?" Firesong guessed.

"One out of three. One about abdication and one about me going off to k'Sheyna. The vestigial ForeSight says bawdy ballad in the near future. What I need to know is if you told one "Givyr" anything."

"No. What _are_ you going to do about it?"

"I have a plan- Kero already agreed to it. First I come in with a flashy illusion and start yelling at the damnfool Bard. Can you do the sparkle for me?"

"Yes. Why can't _you_ do it? Oh, I see, you'll be keeping him in one place."

"So then Kero and the Skybolts come in and charge him with harassment and impeding a Herald in her duty. If he calls Immunity on them, Eldan brings in the cavalry and breaks down the front of Bardic. Finally, you and Darkwind come in through the side and menace him with the birds." Elspeth seemed near to rubbing her hands together in glee.

"That sounds good, but **why** are you doing it? And how do you know Darkwind and Eldan are going to just go along with it?"

Elspeth rolled her eyes. "Word association time. Kerowyn."

"…Scary?"

"Guess again."

"Blonde? Oh, I know, Need!"

"One last guess?"

"I KNOW! **Eldan**!"

"You win the prize. Have a rock," she said, handing one to him.

"So no problem there, unless persons acting like sex-starved rabbits in the last 48 candlemarks should not operate Animal Mindspeech. What about Darkwind, though?"

"I can get him to do it." 

__

"Please don't explain how. On second thought, do. I just remembered you're not me." Firesong replied.

"Actually, I planned to lure him in with lemon ice, since he ate all the kitchen's supply and they're busy trying to get more shaved ice."

"Well, I helped him. So did An'desha, actually. I suppose the Kaled'a'in liked ice so much they passed it on to all their descendants. Don't the artificers have some contraption for keeping things cold?"

"Currently, they can only keep meat fresh for two days, and it usually turns _purple_. They're still trying to figure out why." Elspeth grimaced. "On to more important subjects. Where do you want to keep the damnfool Bard's cage- in one of your huge plants, or out in Companion's Field?"

"You want to put him in a **cage**?"

__

:Bad idea, Chosen.: said a voice in the back of her mind.

__

:Gwena!: the Herald-Mage chided, _:How many times have I asked you _not_ to listen in on me?:_

:As many as I haven't listened. Might I remind you our mutual friend Mornelithe was rather fond of cages?: her Companion retorted.

__

:The white lady has a point,: a new voice said.

__

:Which she will drive in until I admit she's right.:

:Which will be very soon.:

"Fine. I admit it. The cage is too Falconsbane. Be warned: this tactic is only going to work once." she said aloud, rather annoyed.

__

:In this case- pun intended- once is exactly enough.:

Firesong grinned. "Ah, I should never have agreed to come here. Lemon ice abounds, the court waits on me hand and foot, and white horses that aren't pun at me. You must have been the world's second most spoiled child."

"No, I was the first. Ask Talia."

"I believe that I at seven enjoyed that role. _You_ were not possessed of such a rare talent as I. And only now does your hair silver."

"Exactly. I'm possessed of it now. Really, must you rub it in? They're saying I was trapped in a bubble of sped-up time." she said.

"People are gullible. Tell them that a rampaging boar bestowed Mage-Gift on you and they'll believe it. In fact, Elsie, I believe that tale is currently being spread."

"Twice in two days…NO ONE calls me _Elsie_ and lives. I am the **_Herald-Mage Elspeth k'Sheyna k'Valdemar and my name is NOT ELSIE!_**

Firesong soon entered into a close acquaintance with the inside of a rosemary bush.

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Author's Note the Second: Love it? Hate it? Flames are welcome as long as they contain:

The numbers 2, 6, 37,and 18 in number form

No Internet fangirl gibberish

The phrases "Tuatha De Dannann", "What's the velocity of an African sparrow carrying a two-pound coconut?", "Can I have some tartan Sellotape, my dear Carrie?", "Louis XVI told me to", and "Why do clocks run clockwise?" 

At least three lyrics from Tarma and Kethry or Vanyel ballads (you can find them at )

My email address (lia_s@cox.net)

Two Shin'a'in proverbs and one Tayledras (good list at )

And they make sense. That said, goodbye, m'reader! See you in the review lists!

--Lia


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